Solo Dress

This dress was designed and made special for my daughter. The woman who makes these dresses is an amazing seamstress! She made it in record time back in August just as we were heading out to Kansas City for a family reunion and the KC Feis on September 1st. Right now she has the dress and is finishing up the second back piece. It will have our miniature family crest on it.

Photography

Let me start by mentioning that I completely FAILED photography in high school. Completely. I could not understand the difference between an "F Stop" and a "dark room". However, technology has given way to the digital camera. All I need is a plug to attach my camera to my computer and, voila, I have pictures. No more waiting for overexposed EXPENSIVE film to be developed. No more realizing that my children got ahold of the camera and only 2 of the photos are useable. Now I can delete pictures before I even upload them. Nice.

Two Christmases ago, my dh and I bought a pretty nice camera. It's a Sony DSC-H5.
















I can add some lenses to it, but haven't quite figured out which lense I will need the most.

When I have my camera, in hand, I find myself open to the small things. Things I didn't quite see before. It's wierd how quickly my non-observant nature can reappear just as soon as the camera is back in its little black bag. Here are some of the first photographs I took and the first time I really began to see the beauty that has always been around me.































These were both taken in Kansas City last September. They were my first attempt at using the manual focus options. They still confuse me, but I really like having some manual options. I know my camera has quite a bit, but I have no idea how to use them. I'll have to keep working at it.


The other day, dh and I were waiting for our landlord to come and do a final walk through. I found this little gem just outside my front door.

















Now I know I need a lense that will let me do close up photo's without blur. Is there any way really use this camera for those kinds of photo's or am I going to need a much more expensive camera? I have no desire to go into business...I just want to take decent photos.

One of those days......

It started off with snow outside. Yep. Snow.

The only thing worse than snow (IMO) is a morning where I wake up extremely exhausted and in pain. Well, more pain than usual. You know?

So I tell my kids we are not going to church and I snuggle into bed and try to get some more sleep. That didn't work very well seeing as my three youngest were busy playing. Loudly.

I did manage to just lay in bed and watch some TV....that was nice even though I was hurting so badly. I haven't been taking my Naproxen because I'm just afraid that the doctors won't know what is wrong with me. How sad is that?

I have tried to be so strong the past 6+ weeks since my flare up started and today it all came crashing down on me. After a painful day my headache was raging and I just wanted my children in bed. I also wanted my youngest to pick up his Lego's so that they wouldn't be vacuumed up, I mean he just got them for his birthday party yesterday!! He kept finding other things to do and I was very frustrated. I eventually got upset at them all and then picked up my daughters pillow that was in the living room and chucked it up the stairs. It was my attempt to show them I meant business. LOL In doing said throwing, I banged my elbow against the railing. That was all it took to cause me to just let it all flow. It hurt, but not as bad as my uncontrollable sobbing suggested. I could not speak I was crying so hard.

My youngest son, who was still downstairs at this time, saw me walk to the couch and slump down in body shaking sobs. He says, "Mommy is crying." and quickly ran upstairs. Probably to do what I had asked him 10 times to do already. My husband runs over to me and is thinking I broke something. I finally mustered up enough O2 to say, "I've tried to be so strong". He just held me and told me I was strong. I cried hard bitter sobs for another few minutes and spent another 15 recovering in his arms. I'm so grateful for my husband. I don't know what I would do without him.

I am an emotional wreck. I am tired of being strong. I'm tired of being the one who has to present myself to doctors who don't know diddly. I'm tired of paying a ton of money to these people and getting nothing in return. I'm tired of feeling sick. I'm tired of being in pain. I am so scared to see this doctor tomorrow. I'm scared he won't take me seriously and my heart will be broken. Again. I don't think I could handle another brush off at this point. I had such high hopes for this meeting, too. What happened? I think I'm losing hope in ever finding someone who will be proactive with my care.

Please pray for me.

My personality

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. In love, you express your emotions through actions. Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well! At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's Your Personality Type?

Vote for Casey

Casey is running for Student Council. We worked on his speech tonight. I'm very proud of him. He came up with most of it!! Do you think I could cast my very non bi-partisan vote?



Hi. My name is Casey and I am 10 years old. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. My sister, Chloe, is in the 2nd grade here at (insert Elementary school).

I like to ride my bike, play in the dirt, play with my friends and play my Irish Penny Flute. There is also something I bet none of you know about me. I am an Irish Dancer. I have competed in lots of competitions and earned lots of medals and trophies.

My family and I moved to (insert city name) 2 months ago. It was hard to leave my old friends and school, but you have all made me feel more comfortable. I really like (insert elementary school) because everyone is very nice and the school is very clean. I am glad they put me in Mrs. C's class. This is the BEST class in the whole 5th grade!!

I hope that you vote for me, Casey, to be in the Student Council. If I win, I promise to do an Irish Jig for the class.

VOTE FOR ME!

Thank You!!

I want! I want! I want!

This is the most amazing Daily System available.

And the cost is pretty high, too!

For just the 3 pieces I want in black wood (including the metal hanging bar), it would cost me about $180 with shipping*. That is plain ridiculious. I couldn't imagine spending that much, but oh how I want it.

I've been to at least 10 different stores hoping to find something that would hold mail, keys and look nice on the wall. I haven't been able to find anything. It has to be wood and have a couple compartments. Here is a basic idea that I found on Just Organize Your Stuff (JOYS), but then when I emailed her and asked where she got it (a seasonal item from Sam's Club)she just HAD to send me a link to the one she "someday" hoped to get. That, my friends, would be the Pottery Barn Daily System mentioned above.

SIGH

Now I shall forever be in search of something comparable to either one....

Just keep searching....Just keep searching....

*$180 would be the SALE price...not the original price. DOUBLE SIGH

Happy WW's Anniversary to me!

Last night I went to my usual weekly WW's meeting, oblivious to what the past few weeks has done to my body. Well, that's not exactly true. The dryer could have shrunk my size 16 pants just a tad, ya know?

The truth is, I haven't been on program for well over a month....maybe even a few months....and you can totally tell. Well, I can. I'm sure a few pound gain will not say to the world "I've fallen off the wagon", but I can tell things just aren't right.

Today marks my 1 year WW's Anniversary. At this time last year I weighed in at 230 lbs and I was suffering physically, spiritually and mentally with an illness that seemed to be robbing me of my life. Seemed? Ha, it was killing me! A week before joining I weighed in at my rheumatologists office at 235 lbs. I've lost a total of 37 lbs (though I gained back 4 over the past 2 months).

That first night of my new life, I went to my sexual abuse healing support group and left early. I had not told anyone of my plans because I wanted to do this on my own. "God, Give me the strength to walk into that meeting...alone." I prayed this as I drove there and I joined. It was awesome to see my friend Stephanie there. Over the past year we've grown into a huge group of women who not only encourage each other on Monday nights, but we set up a Yahoo! group that helps us keep each other updated on the bits of our life. These women mean more to me than I could have ever imagined and I'm thankful to each and every one of them. They have all helped me in different ways. The weekly night out with my friends is what keeps me going, well that and watching myself get smaller and smaller.

I've learned so much in the past year and while I may be back up to 202 lbs (lowest on WW was 198), I am determined to make this year even more successful than last year. I know that if it weren't for God giving me the strength to walk into that building, I would be wearing a size 24/26 instead of a size 16, a size 3X-4X shirt instead of a size XL womens and worn out "granny panties" instead of my cute cotton Victoria's Secret panties. :) I'm quite sure I would have full blown diabetes and many more physical/health issues than I faced just one year ago. I'd probably be edging towards 250 lbs (or more) and miserable.

Today I am tracking and I'm drinking my water. Good girl!! I've gone over my points by 10, but I tracked it and deducted it from my 35 flex points and I checked off all my little boxes. So, all in all, today was a very good day.

I will most likely be joining the local recreation center on January 20th. They are offering a 20% discount and that's just too good to pass up.

Well- I'm off to plan what I'll eat tomorrow and take care of my family.

Oh yeah.....Congrats to my mom for joining WW's on the eve of my Anniversary!! I can't wait to encourage her on her journey....I'm sure she'll do GREAT!!

My New Year

A NEW YEAR is here and I am embracing it with open arms!

I have several "resolutions" that I will be working on this year. I'm happy to say even though I am suffering through a terrible cold that (I think) has moved to my lungs, I accomplished one of them by waking up this morning at 5 am (after my husband planted a sweet kiss on my forehead before he left for his first day at the gym). My resolution is not to wake up at 5 am , but to be up earlier than my kids so that I can be a step ahead instead of my usual 10 steps behind.

I was planning on waking up at 6, but when my husband left for the gym at 5, I couldn't go back to sleep. I kept thinking about the pecks he would soon be sporting and figured that if he was willing to get up at this ungodly hour to work on his goals then so should I. I actually liked it, now the hard part will be continuing with it so it becomes a habit.

I got out of bed at 5:30, showered and dressed before waking my 13 year olds. Then I started a load of laundry, ate a bowl of oatmeal and vacuumed the front room and stairs. It is only 7:30 and my twins are off to school, my daughter is just out of the shower (after having eaten breakfast and read her bible...this cannot be my daughter!), my son is dressed and eating breakfast and well, my 5 year old baby is still sleeping.

As for my resolutions, they are to:

1. Get up earlier & go to sleep earlier. Hopefully this will give me a jump on my day.

2. Get a filing system in place. I just received the JOYS filing system and from what I've seen so far, it's wonderful. I'm very excited to use this and I can already tell it's going to fit my personality.

3. Set up a budget and financial goals. This will become easier as the filing system/organization takes place.

4. Spend time in His Word every day....even if it's just a 1 minute devotional.

5. Be more active. Walk, DVD exercise program, gym...whatever...just be more active.

6. Really do my best to follow the Weight Watcher's program every day. My goal is to lose the last 50+ lbs I need to by the end of 2007.

These are my main ones. Of course I am working part time now and we will be building a home sometime this year, plus we'll be attending a few Feisanna, so life will be busy....hopefully not too busy.

Well I am off to complete a few more tasks before I head out for the day. I am still a day off. I kept thinking that today was Tuesday and so I was going to do a couple deliveries today, but it's Wednesday, so I'll work tomorrow and Caleb will go to daycare for a few hours.